


Cards Against Fallout

by generalatomicsgalleria (charmingotter)



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Cards Against Humanity, F/M, they arent gonna have functioning livers after this folks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 07:46:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7499913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmingotter/pseuds/generalatomicsgalleria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's game night and everybody is playing drunk Cards Against Humanity. Even X6, who really did not even want to be there in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cards Against Fallout

Hancock laughed at something Nick had said, taking his usual seat at the end of the table next to the synth. “Alright, kiddos. Are we all here?” He asked as everyone found their seats. There was a quiet mumble of yeses and one sarcastic no from MacCready as everyone settled into the now semi-cramped house. 

Deacon snorted. “Kiddos?” He raised an eyebrow. “At least two of us here are over 100 years old.” He pointed at Sun and Nick.

“Watch it, Deacon, you aren’t exactly a spring chicken,” Nick clucked. Sun just rolled her eyes. She had gotten used to the old jokes by now. 

Hancock spoke before Deacon could answer Nick with whatever witty remark he had come up with this time, “Well, Sunshine. You doing the honors tonight?” 

Sun huffed at the use of her full name, but couldn't help but smile a little. She slung an arm around X6-88 who sat between her and Preston. The courser generally did not participate in their game nights. Sun had always made him attend, but hadn’t forced him to play. She had convinced him, or rather threatened him, into playing Cards Against Humanity with them this time though. “Nah. We've got a new Czar, guys,” she patted X6-88's shoulder. 

MacCready did not hide his disdain. “Really, Boss? The Tin Man?” He wrinkled his nose at the man. 

“Don’t be rude, Robert,” Nick chided the man. Most of their little group barely tolerated the courser, but Nick couldn’t help but have a little sympathy for the man. MacCready just threw his head back and groaned at the use of his first name.

Piper tried and failed to hide her laughter. “Robert?” She snorted, quietly. MacCready rolled his eyes at her. 

X6-88 sighed deeply, looking over at Sun, who still had her arm slung around him. “Do I really have to, Ma’am?” He asked, sounding like a child who was being made do something they disliked by their mother. Which might as well have been what was happening truly. He did not want to be here and he most certainly did not want to play one of their silly little games.

Sun patted him on top of the head gently. “Yes,” she said, her tone light, but leaving no room for argument. She winked at him. “It's easy.”

“I thought you said I wouldn’t actually have to play?” He raised his eyebrows at her. 

“And you’re not.” She spread her hands out, gesturing to the whole table. “We are. You’re just gonna judge us. Which you would have done anyway, but now when you judge us, it’ll be helpful.” She smiled at him. “It’s fun, trust me.”

“I’m unsure what trusting you has to do with fun,” he said, “but fine.”

“Sure you’re up to the task, X-69?” Hancock asked, grinning stupidly at his own joke. Danse made a quiet sound of disgust, but Hancock seemed not to notice, too busy chuckling at the death glare he was getting from X6-88.

Sun slide the box of card down the table to Hancock. “John, you deal,” she said. “Don’t flick them at anybody,” she added, giving him a look that could kill. 

“Why I would never,” Hancock said, mock offended that she would even suggest he do such a thing. Nick snorted. 

Hancock flicked open the box, trailing a finger over ends of all the cards once before pulling the white cards out. He grabbed a handful off the top of the stack and immediately flicked one at Danse. 

Danse flinched when it almost hit him in the eye. “Dammit, Hancock,” He growled, picking the card up off the floor. 

“Hehehehe, hand slipped,” Hancock smiled innocently.

“Yeah, sure and I’m a Super Mutant,” Nick rolled her eyes at him. 

Several laughs were heard from various people from the table. Most noticeably from Strong, who had made no attempt to hide his amusement. Nick shook his head at the Super Mutant. He was an easily entertained, Super Mutant that was for sure. 

Hancock turned to the synth and dealt him a card. “Aw, don't be that way, Nicky. I'm just playin’.” He nudged the synth playfully as he dealt out more cards. “Plus, we all know you don’t exactly love our near and dear Paladin over here.” He grinned. 

Nick chose not to dignify that with a response. 

 

“Ahh.” Curie looked around helplessly for a moment when she got dealt her first card. Strong was on her right and Preston was on her left. She smiled hopefully at Preston holding her card up. 

Preston looked at her sadly. “I think we both know I'm not gonna be able to help you here.” His eyes flicked towards the end of the table where Hancock sat. They both knew exactly who she was gonna have to ask. 

Curie closed her eyes. “Merde,” she whispered before knocking on the wooden table to get Hancock’s attention. He was the go to man for when someone didn't know what a card meant. Mostly because he was the only one who could really explain these things. “Monsieur Hancock,” she called him.

He paused his card dealing momentarily, looking up and grinning. She lifted up her card shamefully for him to see. He chuckled. “Eventually I'll have explained every card in the deck. Whadda we got this time?” He asked and continued throwing out cards to everyone. 

Unreasonably, she blushed. She hated not knowing things. 

“Come on, Curie. Nothing could be as bad as the time we had to explain three dicks at the same time,” Deacon told her, looking down at his own cards and laughing quietly. 

Curie huffed, her cheeks reddening even further. “Must you always bring that up?” Ignoring his quiet response, she looked down at her card. “It's ‘copping a feel’, Hancock,” she read. 

Deacon snorted. “So innocent,” he whispered to MacCready who sat beside him. 

“You seriously don’t know that one?” Piper asked, throwing a questioning look her way. “You need to get her out more,” Piper said, turning to Sun. “I mean jeez. Nat knows what that is.”

Hancock laughed. “Okay, so you know that thing I do when I walk by Sun?” He asked, grinning mischievously. 

“Such a gentleman, John,” Nick mumbled, digging around in his pockets for his cigarettes. 

“Which thing?” Curie asked, almost scared to ask such a thing. 

“The thing where I grab her ass when I walk by,” Hancock deadpanned and then laughed when Sun blushed. 

“So, grabbing someone's behind is ‘copping a feel’?” Curie asked. 

“Could be a boob grab,” MacCready spoke up. 

Deacon laughed suddenly. “Aren't you all glad we decided to play this game?” X6 and Danse scowled at him. 

“The Gunman’s got a point,” Cait said and shrugged. “Ya’d be surprised how often that happens.”

“So, ‘copping a feel’ is…..” Curie looked around helplessly again. 

“It's taking advantage and grabbing someone inappropriately,” Sun told her before anyone else could even got a word out, settling the issue. She looked up at Hancock. “Everybody got cards?”

“Everybody but our Czar,” he said and slid the box of black cards down the length of the table to him. 

Sun opened the box and drew out a stack of black cards for X6. “Alright, so rules are easy peasy,” she told X6. “You read one of these,” she slid the stack closer to him. “And we all give you a card, or two in some cases, and,” she said. 

“And then we destroy the Institute,” Deacon slipped in casually.

Sun shot him one of her death glares, “And,” she continued, “you reread the black card with the white card. When you've read through all the cards you pick the funniest and that one gets the point. But you’ve seen us play before, so I’m sure you know how the game works.” She smiled. “You got this,” she told him. 

He sighed. “Of course, ma’am.” He was already regretting his decision to do this. 

Sun smiled. “Good,” she nodded. “Now, do we have anymore cards that need explaining?”

“Yeah,” Deacon said, thumbing through his cards until he found the one he wanted. “Did you give me this card intentionally?” He asked, holding it up so everyone else could read it. 

“The Railroad?” Strong read it aloud quietly. MacCready snorted. 

“Correct,” Deacon pointed at him. “And good job on the quiet reading, buddy,” he gave the Super Mutant a thumbs up. They had all been trying for a long time to get Strong to learn how to talk more quietly while indoors. It was a slow grow, but they were all grateful when he remembered to not yell as they all enjoyed not being deaf. 

“How dare you accuse me of such things?” Hancock asked, being mock offended again. He clutched his chest dramatically. “Do none of you think anything of me?” He tried to sound hurt.

Sun rolled her eyes. They were all such children. It was a good thing she loved them. “Are we ready to play?” She asked.

“Actually,” Cait spoke up. “I thought I’d make a suggestion ‘fore we start,” she smirked.

MacCready was already shaking his head. “No. Whatever it is, no. It's not gonna happen. The last suggestion you tried to make was that you and I wrestle naked and that is not a path I ever want to go down,” he hissed, pointing at the red head. 

“That’s not a path anybody wants to go down, Mac,” Deacon said.

Cait flipped the two off, but kept her eyes on Sun and X688. “I suggest we make this a drinkin’ game,” she grinned. 

Piper choked on her water. Sun patted her on the back, a line forming between her brows. “Ummmm,” she frowned, thinking about it for a moment. “I dunno, Cait,” she finally said. “That’s a lot of drinking.” She looked around at everyone. “Maybe we should put it to a vote?” Six hands shot up, with a couple mumbles of ‘yes’ and ‘let’s do this’. Sun pressed her lips together, looking around the table. Hancock, Deacon, MacCready Cait, Strong, and Curie all still had their hands raised. Damn, she thought, sharing a mutual look of concern with Piper. “Right then. Guess we’re drinking,” she sighed. 

X6 tapped her on the shoulder gently. “We don’t have any alcohol, Ma’am,” he pointed out. Preston and Piper both gave a sigh of relief. 

Cait cackled. “That’s where you’re wrong, ya ol’ bucket of bolts,” she said, pulling out two bottles of vodka from under the table and then two more. “I came prepared.” She wiggled her eyebrows at them.

Danse stared at the four bottles of vodka in shock. Deacon grinned at him. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of us getting you drunk, Dansey.” He knew Danse didn’t like to drink around them. And that was exactly why he had voted yes. Plus, getting Sun drunk was always a blast. 

Hancock grinned. “Alright, but did you bring glasses, Ginger Snap, or are we all just gonna be passing around a bottle?” He asked, standing up. “Also are we counting someone out when they start throwing up or is MacCready just gonna have to suffer through,” he laughed, grabbing two of the bottles as he headed to the other end of the table. 

“Hey!” MacCready protested. “That only happened once!”

“Lightweight,” he laughed. He set the two bottles down between X688 and Sun. He nodded to Curie. “Copping a feel,” he said, before pointedly squeezing Sun’s ass. 

“John,” she hissed, swatting at him. He laughed, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. 

Piper cleared her throat awkwardly. “So, are we ready to get this stupid train going or what?” She eyes the bottles of vodka anxiously. 

“That eager to get drunk and tell us all your crazy stories as loudly as possible?” Deacon asked.

“Fuck off, Deacon” Piper hissed, glaring over MacCready at him. 

“You tell ‘em,” Cait encouraged from her end of the table as she began pulling shot glasses out of the same bag that had held the vodka.

Deacon just laughed. “I think I could take her.”

“Where did you even get all of those?” Nick asked, watching as she gave everyone a glass. 

She shrugged. “Places.”

Piper held her glass up to the light, examining it suspiciously. “What sort of places?” She raised an eyebrow at the red head. The glass was oddly...discolored. What had made it that way was anyone’s guess. 

Preston wiped at the inside if his glass frowning. “Is that blood?” He asked. 

“Mine is cracked. ” Danse frowned. 

“Tiny,” Strong complained.

“Ah, shut your whore mouths,” Cait finally snapped. “Take ‘em or leave ‘em, but I don’t care what you do either way as long as ya shut up.”

“Easy there, Ginger Snap.” Hancock took a glass from her. “No offense, but I do like to know where my drinking glasses have been just like the rest of them,” he said, squinting down at the dirty glass. Cait gave him a contemptuous look. “I don’t know what’s all over this glass, but it better not kill me,” he told her. 

Cait rolled her eyes, returning to her spot between Strong and Nick. “They’re fine,” she said sharply. 

“Sure, sure” he said, giving Sun one last peck on the lip before returning to his spot at the end of the table next to Nick. He grinned wickedly at the old detective, which could never really mean anything good. 

Nick shook his head as he lit his first cigarette of the night. He made a mental note to keep an eye on the ghoul. Even more so than usual. 

Sun sighed. “X, read the card while we all pour our shots.” She grabbed a bottle and cracked it open. “By the way, thanks Cait. Not like I needed a liver or anything,” she commented pouring her shot before passing the bottle on to Piper. 

Cait just smiled as Hancock passed her the bottle he had opened, relishing in the fact that she had basically just made them all agree to get drunk off their asses tonight. 

X6-88 frowned at the card in his hand. “This is a game?” He asked, looking between the card and Sun. 

She sighed, trying to keep a smile on her face. “Please, X, just read the card.” 

He sighed. The things he did for this woman. “What’s that sound?” He read flatly.

MacCready burst out laughing before slapping a card down on the table and sliding it towards X6-88. 

“Piper’s got a dirty card,” Deacon sang as he pushed his own card down the table. 

Curie giggled. “He is right. Look at her blush.” She pushed other’s cards on down the table to X6-88 before putting her own down with a small smile. 

Danse snorted at his own card before passing it up. 

“Is that all?” X6 asked, shuffling the white cards together. Everyone agreed. He nodded. Clearing his throat, he picked up the first card. “What’s that sound?” He repeated the black card just as flatly as the first time. “Emotions,” he read, then looked up at everyone, waiting for their reactions. There was a moment of silence before everyone burst out laughing. Except Strong, who hadn’t been paying attention. 

Sun giggled. “God, we’re gonna have to work on your Czar skills, X. But good start I guess,” she patted his arm. “Next?” She laughed.

He shook his head. “This is ridiculous,” he mumbled, before going to the next card. “A Deathclaw attack.”

Preston laughed. “Sounds about right.”

X6 continued, not paying attention to them. “My inner demons.”

Hancock grinned. “That one yours, Danse-y?” The Paladin pointedly ignored him, he was determined he wasn’t going to let Hancock get under his skin tonight.

“Geese,” X6 went on.

MacCready frowned. “What’s a geese?”

“A dog I think,” Preston answered him, though sounded just as confused. 

Piper hummed, her head tilting to the side as she thought. “I thought it was a plant,” she mused. “But a dog would make more sense.”

“I believe Mrs. Wright is correct. Geese is a plant,” X6 told them, sounding very sure of himself. 

Sun covered her mouth to hide her smile. Nick chuckled, sharing a knowing look with Sun. They both knew they just had to let them go, because sometimes it just wasn’t worth the effort. 

X6 flipped to the next card. “The folly of man,” he read, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. Danse snorted, if anyone could appreciate that card it was him. 

Curie giggled quietly, her cheeks turning red. Which meant that was definitely her card. It was her tell, as they had all learned the first night they played poker. 

The Czar shook his head once again and went on and much to the amusement of literally everyone, X6 read the next card with a completely straight face, “My collection of high tech sex toys.”

Everyone howled with laughter except Piper who had turned red as a Tato. MacCready elbowed her gently, snickering, “How big is the collection now exactly?”

“Shut up,” Piper muttered, her cheeks getting redder by the second. She kept her eyes on X688, the only one not laughing. 

“You don’t have to be-” He began.

“Read the next card, Czar!” Piper half shouted, before he could finish whatever he was going to say. Hancock snickered. 

Miracle of miracles, X6 actually cracked a smile before reading the next one. “Sexual tension.”

“Oh my God,” Sun gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth to contain her laughter. Everyone else had burst out laughing. 

Hancock slapped a hand on the table loudly. “Who’s was it?” He cackled. “Whoever it was gets the point!”

Nick sighed deeply, before raising his hand. The admission made everyone laugh that much harder. Including Strong, whose laughter had begun to shake the table. 

MacCready was laughing so hard he had stopped making noise. “Give him the point,” he threw his head back laughing. 

Sun was wiping tears from her eyes. “Alright, alright. Everyone agree this one wins hands down?” She asked. 

“Yes!” Everyone shouted, except Danse and Nick who were both trying their best to pretend they weren’t actually apart of what was going on here. 

X6 frowned. “But I didn’t read all the cards,” he said. 

“It’s okay, X, it’s allowed,” Preston tried to soothe the synth only to get glared back at. 

Sun patted X6’s arm. “Play nice, X. He doesn’t know I’m the only one who is allowed to call you that,” she said, putting a tally down to Nick’s name in her notebook. She looked up at everyone with a grim smile. “Welp, time to drink, guys. ‘Sept you of course, Nick. Since you got the point after all.” She picked up her shot of vodka with a sigh. “John, don’t let me do anything embarrassing,” she told him before turning up her glass.

Hancock laughed, “Now, what fun would that be, Sunshine?” He asked, knowing how much she disliked her full name being used. She gave him a withering look as he drank his own shot with everyone else.


End file.
